kevinandlindsay.net

These statements are by no means my brain-child. Earlier this week, a friend forwarded me the following as a bit of humor for the last weeks of school. However, at one point or another, I have thought these exact things, and therefore, found this to be quite humorous. If you are a fellow educator, or even parent, I am sure that you too can relate. Enjoy!

YOU might be a school employee if….

…you believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

…you want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 8
to 3:30 and have summers off.”

…it is difficult to name your own child because there’s no name you
can come up with that doesn’t bring high blood pressure as it is
uttered.

…you can tell it’s a full moon or if it going to rain, snow,
hail….anything!…without ever looking outside.

…you believe “shallow gene pool” should have its own box on a report card.

…you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says,
“Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.”

…when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at
children you do not know and correct their behavior.

…you have no social life between August and June.

…you think people should have a government permit before being
allowed to reproduce.

…you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce.

…you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the
“lounge.”

…you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or
home schooling and are willing to donate the UHAUL boxes should they
decide to move out of district.

…you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

…you can’t imagine how the ACLU could think that covering your
students’ chairs with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of
the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public.

…meeting a child’s parent instantly answers the question, “Why is
this kid like this?”

…you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference.

…you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and
crayons…and desks and chairs for that matter!

…the words “I have college debt for this?” have ever come out of your mouth.

<><LinZ

I consider myself truly blessed to teach in the public school system and in an area that is socioeconmically diverse. My children come from all walks of life and family situations. My children are unique and interesting and keep me on my toes.

I have students whose vocabularies contain many four-letter words and they are able to use them quite well in context. I have students who have to consciously not call me the b-word when they are upset because it is common place in their own homes. (And then there is the one who forgot to use a filter.) I have students who insult one another by saying ”you’re ugly” and ones who retaliate with sexually explicit phrases. I have students who are suspended for fighting and for writing death threats. I have students who ride busses home to empty houses. Students who are babysat by the television and video games. Students who have no one to help them with their homework, and parents who tell them their math is incorrect when, in actuality, the parents themselves don’t know their multiplication facts. More than half of my students come from broken homes, and school is the only stability they know.  I have students who have no consequences for their actions, and then I have students who I hesitate to discuss their behavior with their parents for fear that the consequences will be unjust and too severe. However, many of my children do come from wonderful, functional homes, and I have some awesome parents who selflessly help me with their time and energy.

All of my students are amazing and loving and a joy to teach. I consider them my own five days a week. When they are happy, I am happy. When they are sad, I am sad. And when they hurt, my heart breaks with them. I wish that I could adopt some of my students and give them the life and discipline and consistency they deserve.

Last week, Kevin and I were watching Dr. Phil (yes, I know, Dr. Phil.) Dr. Phil was counseling a couple who fight, scream, and curse in front of their children. At that very moment, Kevin and I looked at Victoria and promised her that we will never expose her to such things; to do so would rob her of her innocence and security.

Many times I have wondered…why is it that one has to have a license to drive a car, carry a handgun, hunt for wild animals, operate heavy machinery, to marry, to sell liquor, and, in the state of Montana, to own a dog, but anyone can have a child? A child…the most precious and impressionable of all beings. Something isn’t right with our priorities.

<><LinZ

In Galatians, the fruits of the spirit read as such: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. But what about happiness?

These last few weeks have been a very trying time for me, a definite time of absolute faith. I have struggled with knowing, “What does God want for my life, and more specifically, mine and Kevin’s lives?” The human in me says, “Well, to be happy, of course.” But the truth is, that’s not the truth. Although God rejoices with us when we are happy, He is also with us when the opposite is true. We often forget that He is the creator of the good and the bad. He never promises us happiness on this Earth; we are the ones who confuse happiness with joy. God is constantly reminding us not to become too attached to this world.

As I struggle to discern God’s will for our lives’, I will remember that the way I live my life on this Earth is but a test for something so much greater. I want God to be able to answer yes to the question, “Did she live her life for Me?” and no to the question,” Or did she live for herself?”

“When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.” Ecclesiastes 7:14

<><LinZ

Okay…so I have to tell you that I have never written a blog before. To be honest, I didn’t know what a blog was until a couple of weeks ago. So, what do I write? Where do I begin? I feel like I’m in middle school again writing in my diary…”Dear Diary”…and so just like my diary, here is this blog. I will be writing to no one in particular, just to whomever wishes to read my thoughts. That’s disturbing! Maybe I could write this more like a friendly letter and begin it with “Dear Kevin, or Marla, or Mom, or how about Lil Nut”….but then it wouldn’t only be read by just that one person. So, I’ll just have to write in a way that it doesn’t really matter who reads it. That way I won’t run the risk of sticking my foot in my mouth or saying something I don’t want the whole world to know. Okay…I feel as if I have successfully rambled on and filled up enough space. Therefore, this, ladies and gentlemen, is my first blog entry. Congratulations to myself!
<>< LinZ