kevinandlindsay.net

1. I love being Kevin’s wife and Victoria’s mother.
2. Watching Ninja Warrior brings me great joy; I laugh out loud.
3. I wish that I could play a musical instrument well and speak another language fluently.
4. I am horrible at any sport that involves a ball, and any that don’t, for that matter.
5. I did not enjoy pregnancy.
6. I strongly believe in the ministry of ChallengePoint.
7. Teaching 5th grade is a privilege, not a chore.
8. I despise knick-knacks.
9. I hold my breath when people walk by so that I don’t breathe “their air.”
10. I am great at giving advice, but horrible at receiving.
11. I have self-diagnosed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; I once cried because my husband put a dirty spoon in the sink instead of the dishwasher. In my defense, I was pregnant at the time.
12. I believe that the passage in Matthew which speaks against worry applies to everyone except me. (I worry entirely too often.)
13. Three of the most memorable days of my life: my baptism, the day I married Kevin, the birth of my Lil Nut.
14. I could eat angel hair pasta for every meal.
15. I wanted five children until I had my first. (See # 5.) However, when I was six years old, I wanted thousands of children. Then my mother showed me the PBS special The Miracle of Life. That number then turned to only two.
16. I had never had a latte’ until I met my husband. I now consume a minimum of four shots of espresso a day. I have…an addiction.
17. Before becoming a Christian at age 12, I had a “forgiveness rock” located behind my grandparents’ house. When I felt like I was having a bad day, I would step onto the rock and announce, “I will now begin with a clean slate!” How grateful I am that I now understand God’s grace or I might be living on that rock.
18. I was never paddled or suspended in school, though I was sent into the hallway twice for talking- once in kindergarten and the other time in fourth grade. While sitting in the hallway as a fourth grader, the principal walked by and inquired as to why I was in the hall. Without hesitation, I replied, “My teacher is going over a test that I’ve not taken yet and she didn’t want me to hear the answers.” And because I was a model student, the principal did not question my reply. Wow! I could have gotten into some serious trouble.
19. I secretly wish that I could handle myself the way Jack Bauer does. (But only to defend myself or my family.)
20. I always wanted to take my grandmother on the Wheel of Fortune.
21. I regret not spending more time with my grandparents before they passed away.
22. I want to be able to run a mile without stopping (or going into cardiac arrest.)
23. I admire people who always remember to send cards to others.
24. My house is always ready for the “drop in.” (People who come by your house unannounced.)
25. I am currently reading three books, and I have half a dozen more that I have started, but not finished.
26. I cannot tell a lie; my eyes always give me away.
27. I believe that church is the one place we should not play dress up. If we, as Christians, are to bring people to Christ, we’ve got to make ourselves approachable, to be the Church where Jesus, in his robe and sandals, would be welcome.
28. I despise bullying and cursing. I believe that both scream of ignorance.
29. I once wanted to be a medical missionary in a third-world country.
30. I am grateful that God is not finished with me yet.

<><LinZ

Now that I am a parent, I find such irony in the phrase “sleeping like a baby.” That is unless the person who first said that statement meant that the person sleeping was continuously grunting, crying, experiencing gas pains, drooling incessantly, or thrashing about violently. (Well, maybe the “thrashing about violently” is a bit extreme.) Perhaps the new phrase should be “sleeping like a Beagle puppy after playing outside for several hours on a warm Spring day.” Or maybe “sleeping like a 5th grader on a Monday morning after they’ve played in a baseball tournament all weekend.” Perhaps these aren’t as catchy or as easy to say, but certainly not “sleeping like a baby.”

This realization comes after a LONG night of sitting up with my five-month old. She is by far more adorable than a Beagle puppy or a 5th grader, but she is exhausting me! I put her down for bed as usual and she slept peacefully for a couple of hours, and then BAM! She’s awake. She was happy and playful, but obviously not feeling well. Just when I thought that I had lulled her back to sleep enough to lie her back down, she would cry. She would cry that pitiful cry of, “Mom, please don’t put me down; just hold me and I’ll be good.” How can a mother resist that?

And so, this is my plea to all mothers (and of course, any dads) who wish to offer me jewels of wisdom. What worked for your children during this stage of life (including teething and growth spurts)? I look forward to reading your advice.

<><LinZ

These statements are by no means my brain-child. Earlier this week, a friend forwarded me the following as a bit of humor for the last weeks of school. However, at one point or another, I have thought these exact things, and therefore, found this to be quite humorous. If you are a fellow educator, or even parent, I am sure that you too can relate. Enjoy!

YOU might be a school employee if….

…you believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

…you want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 8
to 3:30 and have summers off.”

…it is difficult to name your own child because there’s no name you
can come up with that doesn’t bring high blood pressure as it is
uttered.

…you can tell it’s a full moon or if it going to rain, snow,
hail….anything!…without ever looking outside.

…you believe “shallow gene pool” should have its own box on a report card.

…you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says,
“Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.”

…when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at
children you do not know and correct their behavior.

…you have no social life between August and June.

…you think people should have a government permit before being
allowed to reproduce.

…you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce.

…you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the
“lounge.”

…you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or
home schooling and are willing to donate the UHAUL boxes should they
decide to move out of district.

…you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

…you can’t imagine how the ACLU could think that covering your
students’ chairs with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of
the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public.

…meeting a child’s parent instantly answers the question, “Why is
this kid like this?”

…you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference.

…you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and
crayons…and desks and chairs for that matter!

…the words “I have college debt for this?” have ever come out of your mouth.

<><LinZ

I consider myself truly blessed to teach in the public school system and in an area that is socioeconmically diverse. My children come from all walks of life and family situations. My children are unique and interesting and keep me on my toes.

I have students whose vocabularies contain many four-letter words and they are able to use them quite well in context. I have students who have to consciously not call me the b-word when they are upset because it is common place in their own homes. (And then there is the one who forgot to use a filter.) I have students who insult one another by saying ”you’re ugly” and ones who retaliate with sexually explicit phrases. I have students who are suspended for fighting and for writing death threats. I have students who ride busses home to empty houses. Students who are babysat by the television and video games. Students who have no one to help them with their homework, and parents who tell them their math is incorrect when, in actuality, the parents themselves don’t know their multiplication facts. More than half of my students come from broken homes, and school is the only stability they know.  I have students who have no consequences for their actions, and then I have students who I hesitate to discuss their behavior with their parents for fear that the consequences will be unjust and too severe. However, many of my children do come from wonderful, functional homes, and I have some awesome parents who selflessly help me with their time and energy.

All of my students are amazing and loving and a joy to teach. I consider them my own five days a week. When they are happy, I am happy. When they are sad, I am sad. And when they hurt, my heart breaks with them. I wish that I could adopt some of my students and give them the life and discipline and consistency they deserve.

Last week, Kevin and I were watching Dr. Phil (yes, I know, Dr. Phil.) Dr. Phil was counseling a couple who fight, scream, and curse in front of their children. At that very moment, Kevin and I looked at Victoria and promised her that we will never expose her to such things; to do so would rob her of her innocence and security.

Many times I have wondered…why is it that one has to have a license to drive a car, carry a handgun, hunt for wild animals, operate heavy machinery, to marry, to sell liquor, and, in the state of Montana, to own a dog, but anyone can have a child? A child…the most precious and impressionable of all beings. Something isn’t right with our priorities.

<><LinZ